I was inspired to begin this endeavor because of all the rants on romance I knew would come today, Feb. 14th (Originally written in 2007).
What gets me the most is you would think that with all the different people the rants would sound different, but no. It's the same sad story over and over. With that in mind I have created a template to help make this day more convenient for everyone. My thanks to Laura for her help in creating this.
St. Valentine's Day Rant Template
() Denote editor's marks, please delete these from your template before posting. Please be sure to make a choice when appropriate
(Please include any poetry/literary quotes at the beginning)
St. Valentine's Day hurts me every year. I see the happy people all around (exchanging gifts/making out/obstructing my indulgence in self-chosen depression/fucking everyone but me and/or just not feeling my pain). Really though they are (fools/whores/jerks). Since I (was dumped/never had a girlfriend), I know the true heart of this Hallmark holiday. This is just a conspiracy by (the card and candy companies/women/men/bastards/bitches/insensitive men/an evil cabal made up of (list a few of the examples given)/the cat/other) to pick your pocket.
Please don't fall for this! Join me in boycotting this Evil Holiday!